I don't know why I made this page. I had it for a while, deleted it, and now I'm resurrecting it again. I guess it's just because I like to have my secrets where people can get to them if they want to try hard enough to look. I don't really have any deep dark secrets. Just thoughts that I'd rather keep from people in general. I don't really like people to know what I think. I'd rather be mysterious most of the time. But that's a issue for another time.
So if you're reading this, you're either entirely board, or Nathan. I'd rather it be the second one. If you're not Nathan and you keep reading, shame on you. So if you're not Nathan I'd rather go back home right now.
Since you haven't been reading this ever since I started writing it, I'll put back on everything that I ever had on it before, with approximate dates of when they were up, starting with the earliest. (And that sentence was entirely too long.) As a sidenote, you change from third to second person in this, so try not to get confused. I have put some more recent thoughts at the end. But don't read that first. I have my reasons.
These are some of my thoughts from Honduras thus far.
The first Sunday here, instead of having a normal service they had a graduation ceremony for the graduates of the three year discipleship class. And I sat there and wondered why exactly we're here. If they have so many people willing to commit to three years of discipleship classes, why did we have to come? So far, it doesn't seem like they need us. We're just five Americans who don't know how they think, don't know what their culture is really like, and know just enough Spanish to get by. I mean, I understand all the reasons they've told us in training on why, but I don't get it.
And then there's Teresa, our (meaning Nikki and I's) hostess. She's 22, single, and lives in her deceased grandparent's house. (Her deceased grandparents aren't there anymore.) The one morning she made us tuna sandwiches. We were sitting on the porch and she came and asked us if we wanted two or three sandwiches. (They were little rolls, not normal size bread.) We both said just two, mostly to be polite and not eat too much. Teresa only ate one, and then she had to go somewhere. Nikki and I then discovered that there had only been six rolls, so if we would have both said three, she wouldn't have had any.
Nikki and I discussed this for a while. What American would be nice enough to their guests to go hungry so their guests could eat? I know it's a cultural thing. Most cultures treat their guests with the highest honor they can, and American's usually expect their guests to take care of themselves. Like in America, if you just casually suggest to someone, hey, let's go get something to eat, they are expected to pay for their own unless you clarify otherwise. In most cultures if you suggest going out to eat, it's assumed that you are paying for everything. I think it makes more sense their way.
Nikki and I talk about a lot of stuff. We have to. There's no one else to talk to. The one night we were in bed and I told her I was going to go to sleep. She said I wasn't allowed to yet because she missed Brandon (her boyfriend). That's something we talk about a lot since both of us can identify with it. We're both glad the other can identify, too, because otherwise we'd feel like we couldn't talk about it.
The other day I got an email from Josh. Part of it went something like, "Nathan is having a really bad week. He said it started last Tuesday night, which is the day you left. Maybe you should email him. HINT, HINT. Why don't you, anyway?" It made me cry. (No, not right there in the internet cafe. That night when I went to bed.) The problem is I can't explain why. All I can say is because it's the way it's supposed to be. I don't have any solid reasons. It'll all make sense later. But it's not later yet. So it's hard. Terribly hard. I don't like to do this to him. It's so cruel. At least that's what it seems like right now.
Third Sunday here, the 21st, there was only one service at church, in the evening, because of Christmas. So in the afternoon, our team walked downtown to find the place that had international phone calls for 2 Lemps (instead of 3). AJ called his mother. At one point during the conversation he yells, "What!?" really loud. Afterwards we found out why. He walks up to us and says, "Well, I just found out I'm an uncle." His sister is 16 or 17 and she's due in August. Nathan, that's like you finding out your sister's pregnant, not to mention while you're a couple thousand miles away and not seeing her for five months yet. He's used to protecting his sister from guys that might hurt her, and now he's too far away to do anything about the things she's getting herself into.
During the church service that evening, he brought his notebook labled poetry and wrote in it most of the time. So he's dealing with it. I guess that's good.
You know what? Christmas makes you miss people more. I never understood how holidays could be different than any other day, as far as missing people. Now I do. Still don't know why, but I do know it's true. Nikki and Derek both called their parents on Christmas day. But mine are in Florida. So I couldn't.
Only have 19 weeks left as of December 30th. And then I get to see everyone again. But mostly Nathan. It's been three weeks and I haven't lost the ring yet. Probably because I'm expecting to. (Now there's something I don't understand. Why when you're expecting something bad, it doesn't usually happen.)
What a way to start out a year. January 1st was a very pivotal day. *sighs sadly* The year can only get better. So here we go.
Now, before you read this next paragraph, make sure you read the Honduras story page, so I don't have to explain it all again. New Year's Day when we went swimming and the guy stole our watches. You know how when we would go wallclimbing, I would take my rings off and put them on my watch band so I wouldn't misplace them? Yeah...I did that. Once I realized it was gone, I looked around on the ground and climbed up the hill where the guy had gone, because I figured that once they'd discover that the one wasn't silver, they wouldn't want it anymore and drop it. One of those, hoping beyond all reason things. But all I found was 80 cents in Lemps.
You had said something to the effect of, "Even if I only have it for four weeks..." I had it four weeks and a day. But there's no possible way I'm going to forget about you. And you know that. I really don't like the fact that I lost your ring, though. But I know you'll understand. It's just a ring. I thought behind it is still there and that's all that really matters. But you had it for so long and then I, of all people, go and lose it for you. I'm sorry.
Like I said, this year can only get better.
Friday the 16th is when we move to Casa Feliz. That means we won't have access to email as easily and I'll probably only be on the Internet once a week. Not that that's much different than what I do now. Only it will be more planned and less spontaneous. I don't know how often I'll update this.
My parents are coming the 20th through the 27th of March. And Nikki's and Derek's parents are coming also, the same week. That's going to be a little weird. I called my parents the other day. I'm not sure why. It was sort of a spur of the moment thing. The first thing my mom said was, "What's wrong?" Meaning the only reason I'd ever call would be if something happened. I really don't know why I called. I had just emailed them that same day, so there wasn't anything to say. *pauses, smiles* Josh asked me if I found the little green man. It all started when we found this little plastic green man that neither of us wanted. I put it on Josh's dresser, he put it on mine, then we started hiding it in each other's rooms. Right before I left for Harrisburg, I hid it in his room, and then he mailed it to me. He stuck it in my suitcase right before I left. I'll stick it in his when he comes here. It's just one of our silly games.
Less than 10 weeks left. March is only beginning and I've almost filled the second section in that notebook. If I keep writting as much as I am, I might actually fill the whole thing.
I was sick last week for two days. I haven't been that sick for a good three years. Thursday night I didn't sleep much because I had a fever. Wednesday morning I was okay until 11 or so, until the fever came back. Then Thursday I thought I was over it, but at 2 it hit again. That last part was the worst. I haven't wanted to go home so badly the whole time I've been here. (Except maybe the first night.) And crying only makes headaches worse.
Suyapa said it was Dengay (sp?) fever. Brent's not so sure. Whatever it was, Brent had the same thing the day before I got it. Only he had a lingering headache for three or four days. But we're all better now. So don't worry.
Okay, next section. Post-email. March 11th we went to the church to work and I figured I'd run up and check my email quick. Didn't think it would take too long. Then I discover that I have six new emails. Two of which are from Nathan. (The word "glee!" seems too tame.) I had stopped expecting an email from you, quite honestly. I thought maybe you wrote a letter or something. So I skimmed the first one and decided that since I didn't have time to actually read it thoroughly, I'd go to the Internet place with Nikki during lunch, since she wanted to go anyway.
So I spend the rest of the morning helping to clean the church running the parts of the email that I remembered through my head and trying to decide how and if to respond. When I checked my email again at the Internet place over lunch, I discovered that you had sent me a third one. (Now, I said one, remember? *grins* You did good, I'm just teasing.)
I don't care that you got my email three weeks after I sent it. You got it when you missed me and that's really when you were meant to get it.
I almost mentioned losing the ring in that email I sent you...but I didn't just want to refer to it without knowing for sure if you knew about it or not. I'm still sorry I lost it. But I said that. My hand misses it yet. My thumb still plays with that finger a lot.
And to write a bit about coffee...I have a little conversation between my parents and I which I can't resist relaying to you. I wrote to my parents, "Thereīs this coffee place, Expresso Americano, thatīs really good. Itīs a chain owned by the president of Honduras. Iīm not sure if itīs expanded to other countries yet or not. We went there early one morning in Tegucigalpa. Iīm going to have to have someone show me all the good coffee shops around home once I get back. Know anyone that could do that?" I was referring to you. Only I don't think my mother caught that part. She replied with, "so neat to hear from you. I can't believe you are talking so much about coffee. Can't wait for you to go to dunkin dounuts with me!" I had to laugh at that one. It's not at all what I was intending. I was indeed referring to that coffee shop that you mentioned. You told me about it in a letter during training. And sitting around in little coffee shops, sipping coffee, and talking with friends...that's more fun than I ever thought it could be. *sighs whistfully* Soon...
And you know that picture that my parents took of us right before I left? My mom mailed it to me. And you most definitely have that big silly, grin on your face. It makes me smile almost every time I look at it. I keep it in the front of my Bible. And speaking of pictures, remember how on my page I wrote about that church baptism that reminded my of the pig roast? They took pictures, which were put up at church. I'm in the background in four of them, and in the one, I can see why April mistook me for you twice. If I didn't know better, I'd almost think it was you. I found that highly amusing.
I'm almost tempted to say, you know my password, you could edit code on my website. It's not that hard to figure out. It technically wouldn't be emailing each other...right? But, no, don't do it. I upload and overwrite before I actually look at it. Sorry, just a random musing of mine that's not to be acted upon.
I don't actually update this page much anymore...I hardly have time. So don't expect too much.
Oh, yeah, one more thing. I'm glad you didn't go anywhere...yet. Yet!? Yeah, that was mean. *attempts a glare, fails miserably* I love you